Baby Bear Page 11

  “All hell will break loose if you don’t tell Daddy Darius you lied about the meeting. You can’t blindside him like that. He doesn’t deserve to be publicly humiliated because his boy lied. He has to know what’s going on. He knows you want to dance, so he’ll make it right. Just don’t lie to him. Do you know for a fact that Mr. Benson wants you to give him a blow job, or do you just think that’s what he wants?”

  “He didn’t say. I mean, he might discuss something else. Sometimes he talks to me about his past when things come up. He had crazy religious parents too.”

  “Why didn’t you just tell the truth the first time? No matter what, the truth is better than lying. It’s only going to get worse.”

  “Tell me you’ve never lied to protect your ass from a whipping?” Abel asked as he walked out to the porch with Sammy at his heels.

  “Don’t worry about getting your ass whipped. Daddy Darius isn’t going to whip your ass because you’re not his Baby Bear, but if you lie to him, you’ll never be that.”

  “Sammy, I know damn well what I am and what I’m not to Daddy Darius. You don’t have to be so rude and mean about it. I thought I could discuss this with you without your judgment. I guess I was wrong.” Abel’s heart was torn apart from the verbal lashing Sammy had flung at him. Once again, he had blindly trusted someone, and it backfired. He wasn’t meant to have any friends. His destiny had dealt him the ugly cards of isolation and loneliness.

  “You can discuss anything with me, but I don’t have to agree with your baseless decisions, especially if they involve hurting Daddy Darius.”

  “Just because you have the perfect little fairy-tale life with Daddy Noah doesn’t mean everyone else does. Everything isn’t black or white.”

  “Our relationship isn’t perfect, and I never said it was. I used to lie to Daddy Noah, and yes, he whipped me for it. I learned that when I told him the truth, I might still get whipped, but something was different. I didn’t see the hurt I’d caused him in his eyes. When you love someone, you don’t deliberately hurt them by lying or setting them up. Maybe deep down, you really don’t want Daddy Darius to be your Papa Bear. You can’t hurt him, Abel.”

  “If I tell him I lied about the meeting, he’ll make me quit my job to be with him.”

  “Tell him there’s no insurance meeting, and that you made up the entire fucking story. He’ll be proud of you for coming out with the truth before Mr. Benson makes a fool out of him. He doesn’t deserve that from you or anyone.”

  “I’ll think about it.” Abel’s stomach hurt again. The soda wasn’t helping the cramps, but he was so thirsty.

  “Promise me you’ll tell him the truth.”

  “I can’t promise you anything right now.”

  They painted in silence until Daddy Noah appeared with their lunch, but not Daddy Darius. Daddy Noah told them he had an important meeting. While they ate their sandwiches, Sammy didn’t talk to Abel. He directed his conversation to Daddy Noah. Abel could see they had an amazingly strong and romantic relationship and that they were very comfortable with each other like two peas in a pod, something he wanted. He felt Sammy pulling away from him, the same way the dancers had when he messed up with one of them. Feeling sad and lonely, Abel didn’t have anything to say to Sammy when they returned to painting the porch.

  They continued painting in total silence and finished around four. After Daddy Noah fetched Sammy, Abel showered and put on his red short shorts and a cutoff T-shirt. He hated himself for lying to Daddy Darius. Now, he needed to come clean in a way that didn’t make Daddy Darius kick him out of the cabin and his life.

  He sat in the kitchen, drinking coffee, hoping to relax for his dancing at Boka Boys. His stomach contracted and then twisted into a knot. He was afraid to tell Daddy Darius the truth. If only he could get lucky like Sammy. Daddy Noah hadn’t kicked Sammy out when he’d messed up. Sammy walked away with an ass whipping, but he was still with Daddy Noah, much to Abel’s surprise.

  Abel wasn’t so sure he could pull that off with Daddy Darius. He wasn’t his Papa Bear, so he wouldn’t whip him like Sammy had said, and Sammy would know about a Papa Bear disciplining or not when the boy wasn’t his Baby Bear yet. Right now, Daddy Darius had hired him as a temp, nothing more. Without a doubt, employers never whipped their immoral employees into shape. They fired them on the spot, which sucked big-time. Abel knew very well how it felt when Mr. Benson had fired him from Boka Boys under Daddy Darius’s command. He’d been stabbed in the front and the back at the same time. It hurt like hell when they’d betrayed him. Maybe he’d never trust anyone again.

  A couple of hours after Daddy Noah and Sammy had left, Daddy Darius entered the cabin, carrying Chinese takeout. He set the food on the table, then leaned over and kissed Abel, rubbing their tongues together while his fingers pinched his nipples. Abel’s shorts hung on his hips, exposing his navel. Daddy Darius kissed him there and ran his tongue around the ridge of it. He kissed him right over his navel, then moved lower. Abel looked at him. Those striking blue eyes stared back. Daddy Darius’s face expressed a mixture of lust, urgency, and ecstasy.

  “I missed you,” Daddy Darius whispered.

  “I missed you, too.” Abel forced out the words, fearing he’d break down in front of Daddy Darius. He couldn’t tell him he lied, not now. He just couldn’t. He was going to lose him before he ever had him. His life sucks. Always.

  “Is something wrong?” Daddy Darius asked, taking Abel’s face in his hands, his thumbs stroking the soft skin on his cheeks.

  “I’m not hungry.” Abel was afraid everything would come out and he’d be out for good, especially if Daddy Darius ever found out what he’d done for Mr. Benson. Sure, he had left Daddy Darius then, but he couldn’t make this wrong right. On top of that, he’d lied about the damn meeting with Mr. Benson, and there was no way out of that either. Abel had trapped himself in a cage without a key. He needed some kind of intervention to get him out of this nasty predicament.

  “Tell me what’s wrong.”

  “I don’t think we’re going to work out,” Abel said, his voice trembling.

  “Why would you say that when we haven’t begun our relationship yet?”

  “My job is going to get in the way of us. I can’t let what I want with you make me forget I have to take care of myself first. I’m the only one who is responsible for me. No one can bail me out if I fail. I’ll stay here until I finish the painting, but I’ll sleep in the guest room. I’m sorry I can’t do this with you anymore.” Abel’s heart broke as he spoke the very words he’d dreaded saying. Happiness would never be on the menu for him. It was for others like Daddy Noah and Sammy.

  “I’m not going to let you go so easily. Certainly not without a brutal fight for my boy. We’ll figure out a solution for the job issue.”

  “I don’t want you to come to my meeting with Mr. Benson,” Abel asserted, using the firmest tone he could muster to get his point across. There was no way he wanted Daddy Darius to find out about everything he’d done. This way he’d never know about his lies, and Abel would be safe from any further condemnation from Daddy Darius and Sammy. He didn’t belong anywhere except twirling on the pole with drooling old men watching him. Maybe he needed a grandpa instead of a daddy. He was so lost he couldn’t find himself. He really wanted Daddy Darius to hold him tight in his arms and make this all go away.

  “Why not?” Daddy Darius asked. “You said it was an insurance meeting, and I’ll make sure you choose the right one.”

  “Mr. Benson asked me to attend a meeting with him, not you.” Abel felt like the wind was being knocked out of his body. Daddy Darius was going to find out the underlying cause of his lying, and it wasn’t going to be a pretty picture. He was in trouble once again.

  “Is there something going on at this meeting you don’t want me to know about?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve always done work things alone, without anyone interfering.”

  “Tell me what’s going on. I know something
big is bothering you.”

  “I can’t tell you. Can’t you see that? I fucked up big time, so I’ll just end us. Then you never have to know what an asshole I am.”

  “Don’t use profanity when you’re talking to me.”

  “See, we’re not going to work out because I don’t have what it takes. I’m a loser. Anyone I’ve tried to connect with ends up throwing me out. I can’t last a week in a relationship, and it’s no different with you. I don’t meet your expectations, and I never will.”

  Daddy Darius pulled out a chair. “Sit on my lap, and we’ll talk about it.”

  Abel got up and sat on Daddy Darius’s lap because he didn’t know what else to do or say. Soon Daddy Darius would find out he was a liar and cheat just like his father, the man he despised. He never wanted to be like him in any way, but here he was doing the same damn filthy things without a clue about how to fix it.

  “What did you do, Abel?”

  “I can’t talk about it right now. Can we talk about it after work?”

  “I’m worried about you. Something has gotten you upset. Remember when we talked about the roles of a Papa Bear and a Baby Bear?”

  “Yes, and I do want you to be my Papa Bear, but don’t you understand I’m afraid of giving up everything for you?”

  “I do understand you need to trust me in order to do that. We need to spend time together, and I don’t mean just fucking all day and night. Give me the chance to show you how happy I can make you.”

  “I want to be your Baby Bear, but I’m afraid I won’t be as good as Sammy is with Daddy Noah. He does all the right things, and I don’t.”

  “Bad boys get spanked, but Papa Bears don’t throw their Baby Bears away when they make mistakes. Part of my job as a Papa Bear is to teach you the right way to do things that will lead you to success and happiness.”

  “I’m bad. I know I am. I’m just not worth your time. Can’t you see I’m a loser without any family or friends? I have no one because I’m a fuckup.”

  “I’m taking you to the meeting.”

  “I don’t think the meeting is going to be about insurance.”

  “What are you saying? So, you lied to me on purpose?” Daddy Darius crossed his arms.

  “I didn’t want you to interfere with my job. You did enough when you had me fired.”

  “This is more than what you’re saying. Last night and this morning, things were good between us, and now they aren’t. What’s changed?”

  “There are some things I can’t change for you. I want to be with you, but you expect too much. I can’t be perfect.”

  “I figured you weren’t going to an insurance meeting because Benson doesn’t offer insurance to his boys. He’d told me that much. I want you to trust me to make this right for you, since I’m responsible for this situation.”

  “Fix it for you or for me?” Abel asked, and he bit his lip.

  “For you. I want you to be happy, not upset. Let me fix this mess.”

  “And what if Mr. Benson fires me? Then I’m out of a job.”

  “I said I’ll fix the mess I made for you. I’m going to the meeting, and I’m not taking no for an answer.”

  “Don’t you think you’re too good for me?” Abel stood.

  “No. You’re exactly what I want and need. Let me take care of you.” Daddy Darius got up and hugged him. “I want you, Abel.”

  “Shouldn’t we leave?” Abel ignored Daddy Darius’s remark.

  “Are you going to eat first?”

  “I can’t.”

  “I’ll take you out to the diner after work.”

  They left the cabin in silence. Abel’s hands were shaking badly while he looked out the window. His stomach turned upside down. He was afraid of going into the meeting with Daddy Darius.

  They entered Boka Boys and made their way directly to Mr. Benson’s office. Daddy Darius knocked on the door and opened the door without waiting for Mr. Benson to answer. Abel followed him. Mr. Benson looked surprised, sitting up straighter. They took the two seats in front of the desk.

  “Why are you here?” Mr. Benson asked Daddy Darius.

  “To get some things straight with you. Abel wants to work here, but whatever went on before will not go on with my boy now. I don’t want you touching him in any way. He won’t be working the back room either.”

  “So, you come to my club and think you’re going to tell me how to run it?”

  “That’s right. You want to keep this club? Then you’d better not ask anything from Abel other than that he dance.”

  Mr. Benson turned to Abel. “I called you in to see if you wanted to be the lead dancer. It would mean you’d do three solo dances and be in charge of the other dancers. I’d like you to come up with some new routines every two months. If you accept my offer, you’ll get a raise.”

  Abel looked at Daddy Darius and found him smiling at him, so he assumed he approved. “I’d love to be lead dancer, sir.”

  “Abel needs this weekend off,” Daddy Darius said.

  “We need to discuss your hours.” Mr. Benson ignored him. “You can work five nights a week. If you want weekends off, take them. I know if you work the weekdays, you’ll bring in the weekend crowd. Would you like to work Monday to Friday?” Mr. Benson winked at Abel, making Abel feel at ease.

  Again, Abel looked at Daddy Darius, who smiled. “I’d love to work the weekdays, sir.”

  “Good. Go to the dressing room,” Mr. Benson said.

  “Thank you, sir.”

  Abel hugged Daddy Darius, then left the room.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Darius

  “So you like Abel?” Benson leaned back in his office chair, smiling.

  “He’s mine, and no one touches him,” Darius said, not finding anything amusing on the subject of Abel.

  “Let me get something straight with you. Abel is special to me, and that’s why I agreed to let you have him in the first place. The boy had a horrible childhood, and I want the best for him. He needs someone like you to take care of him, but as I warned you before, Abel is emotionally unstable.”

  “I can see he’s damaged in many ways, but this job isn’t helping him get away from dirty old men like you. I don’t like him working here, but he wants this job, and it’s important to him, although I don’t understand why. I hope he comes to his senses and quits, but until he does, treat him with respect,” Darius said.

  “We’ve been friends for years, and I think you can bury your worries about Abel working here. The reason he wants to dance is that he wasn’t allowed to express himself during his childhood. He used to dance in the woods away from everyone, so this job helps him become the person he wanted to be when he was a child. Here he feels safe to be who he is. When you have some time, listen to him when he talks about his past. I’ll keep a close eye on him and promise no one will touch him.”

  “I don’t know if that’s true for you, but you did trust me with him. So there’s that.”

  “Can we agree that we both want the best for Abel and leave it at that?” Benson asked.

  Darius stood and shook hands with Benson, then made his way to the club area and stopped at the bar to order seltzer water with a slice of lime. He needed all his senses about him while he watched Abel dance. He sat near the stage so he could see Abel dance and make sure no one abused him. Darius wanted to get his boy’s ass off the stage before the end of his routine when the men would touch him and slip money into his thong. For him, that was the worst part of Abel’s job.

  As he watched the other boys dance, it became clear to Darius that Abel was the best dancer. Why did these dancers hate Abel so much? He’d like to find out what Abel had done to be shunned. What made them think they were better than Abel was? Surely, he wasn’t the only one running from his past. With every fiber of his body, he wished Abel didn’t work in this dirty fish tank. From here on in, Benson should keep his hands off him, but would he? Something was going on between Benson and Abel, although Darius couldn’t put his
finger on what exactly. Benson was too damn old for Abel. What was Abel thinking? What did he expect to get out of Benson? Money, job security, or both? Darius intended to make it his business to free Abel from his connection to Benson. That old man had dirty desires, but he also knew about Abel’s past, something Darius wanted to know more about too.

  Over the intercom, they announced Abel Gardner was up next to dance the pole. Darius barely recognized his boy with his packed-on eye makeup, his fashionably ripped cutoff T-shirt emblazoned with the word SEX in big red letters, and his tiny red shorts. Rock music was playing loudly from huge speakers as Abel strutted onstage. The loud cheers and whistles were relentless. The patrons hadn’t cheered this loud or long for the others. It literally made him nauseous. Was this something he could deal with? The answer was no. No matter how much he tried to push himself to accept who Abel was and what he wanted, it wouldn’t work for long. They wouldn’t work if he continued to have this job.

  Sadness crawled over him. Abel was so close yet so far out of his reach. If only he could accept the unacceptable, but he couldn’t. He had to find Abel a job that would take him away from this one. He could train Abel to do the hotel books. Of course that job wouldn’t be as exciting as dancing. Darius had to give them a chance to succeed as a couple before he lost Abel to the stage.

  Abel waved at the audience and made his way to the pole, swaying his hips to the sensual beat of the music. So damn sexy. Men were drooling over his Abel, which sickened him more. Abel jumped up and spun around the twelve-foot pole, slowly undulating and unfolding his body just a few feet from the ceiling. His toes formed perfect points, sometimes aiming skyward. When his feet finally touched the stage again, he bent down and picked up the flower that one of the men had thrown onto the stage. Money was flying around him while some men pulled at his shorts and slipped bills into the waistband.

  Just as Darius brought his glass to his lips, a man got too bold and pushed Abel flat onto the stage. Darius slammed his drink down and ran over to the stage. He yanked at the man’s arms and shoved him away from Abel. Three security guards rushed to the area and escorted the man away. Darius took Abel’s trembling hand in his.